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Archive for August, 2009

Cool breezes in the summertime.

When I was young, I would watch the curtains for signs of fluttering. It would mean relief on those stifling summer nights when even the sheet felt to heavy, sticking to my skin. I’d throw a leg toward the breeze, hoping to feel it whisper on me, hoping it would cool me down so I could drift with it into sleep. Sometimes, when the season was right, it would bring wafts of lilacs into the room and sweeten the evening, or raindrops from a summer storm. Mostly, it just brought cool relief.

Tonight, the windows are wide open. It’s cool outside, and the breeze is following me through the house. It’s bringing back visions of childhood of looking from my pillow towards my feet and over to the window to watch the curtains billow towards me, breathing their relief, sighing me to sleep.

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I’m starting this just when I know that I’m going to be away for a few days, but right now I’m just feeling a need to begin. I spend too much time absorbed by the negative, by what I am powerless to control, and the consequences of that powerlessness on my mindset, my confidence, and my sense of well being. It’s time to reset and re-train myself to see all the good that’s around me.

Day 1: Possibility

I am filled with possibility right now. I have an interview next week that could get me out of my current very miserable job situation and put me into a much happier position at a new place. It’s a contract position, which means I’d have time, while still earning money, to explore other opportunities and to calm and recollect myself after too many years of too stressful work environments.

Some of those other opportunities are outside of the classified ad office job realm and in entirely new directions. Those opportunities feel so exciting right now. The feel, well, possible. They feel right. I’m loving thinking outside of the “this is what I SHOULD do” realm and breaking into the “what I COULD do” world. This world feels like it holds a happy future that I will love working towards.

Thinking about joining Erin in 30 Days of Happiness has me thinking, too, about all the happy-making things I can write about. That’s a nice change of mindset already.

Oh, and today, the windows are open for the first time in months letting in the fresh air and sounds of the neighborhood. That makes me very, very happy.

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